She-rEbuFFEd-mE

BY Akhilesh Poddar 

Hiii everyone!!! I am back but this time with a humorous blog which is a figment of my imagination, and not on the current issues. It would definitely rekindle the energy in your hearts and minds after your day’s hard work.

I would recommend you to read only at your leisure.

I was due to write on the topic “Effects of US tapering on Emerging Financial Markets” but as I was analysing the data and statistics on tapering (which means ‘to reduce’ or ‘to lessen’) something kept striking my mind repeatedly, its frequency increased rather than ‘tapering’☺ and that was Love♥. So I decided to write on it without giving a second thought.

And the story goes like this…

I saw a girl in my tuition centre and the moment I observed her ‘Kuch Kuch Hone Laga’. She was very beautiful, gorgeous, charming and it seemed as if the entire world was covered with her divine beauty and each and every girl sitting out there resembled her.☺

 I was never a believer of ‘Love at First Sight’ but the instance I saw her, I started humming the song, ‘Ek Nazar Mein Bhi Pyaar Hota Hai’,which obviously proved me wrong and I knew it immediately that ‘She was the One for me’.

Initially I was very much diffident to approach, talk to her and know her name but I recited Hanuman Chalisa gathered strength and suddenly started feeling like a Rahul Gandhi who, God knows from where, gathered courage to frankly speak with the unstoppable force Arnab Goswami in a kindergarten interview☺, but as soon as I was going towards her, than a good friend of mine named Nikhil caught hold of me and suggested to awaken the feelings of SRK within otherwise all my dreams of getting her into my life will be decimated just as Sunny Deol ( you guessed it wrong its ‘Deol’ and not ‘Leone’☻) decimates the enemies in his movies.

Now, the SRK within was aroused, raring to go with my hands out-stretched and I energetically but softly asked ‘Can we be friends’. She, much to the amazement of my friends☻, replied enthusiastically, ‘Obviously why not’.

I was not at all surprised at her reply given the Glamour Quotient that I possess☺. At this point of time I was feeling like a Narendra Modi being anointed as the PM of India.

Now let us turn the wheel of Time and go 3 months forward into the time when we from just friends became two good friends. We were roaming in Elliot Park near Maidan in Kolkata. Hold on, we were not doing any mischievous thing that many are expected to do at Elliot Park☺.

Given the scenic beauty and greenery all around the park, I thought that this would be a perfect setting to express my feelings and I without thinking too much and kicking the MMS (ManMohan Singh) out of me…

Proposing Her...

I went down upon my knees and expressed all my feelings to my Lady Love♥♥♥. I spoke everything with love and affection in my heart and nowhere else in my body (pun intended) ☻. I was literary palpitating when I was on my knees, my heart was throbbing faster than boys pressing ‘Like’ in Sunny Leone’s page, hope that you can empathise with me. But some way or the other I brought down all my involuntary activities of my body to normal so that I can whole heartedly swing the mood of my ‘to-be-girlfriend’♀, Natasha.

At last, I spoke, when it seemed as if someone has used Fevi-Stick in my mouth. I told her the following lines:

Me: You know what Natasha...

Natasha: What? While curling her hairs...☺

M: I feel in Heaven when I look into your eyes...

N: Oh really...

M: Yes my courteous sweet- heart,

Your lovely smile is a pain killer for me; the joyous smile of yours is a spell binding sight for me...your sweet wholesome smile has improved me unknowingly...you have illuminated my life just as every single star in the constellation enlightens the universe... 

(And I continued without fumbling since I knew that the SRK within was gone and there was no heyyyyyyy heyyyyyyy kinda stuff which persisted earlier, sorry SRK fans☺).

She looked over-awed, and I continued,

The over-abundance of your innumerable sketches in my mind has made me experience the unnatural love...I aspire to be your man...your absence sends me into mental agitation...

I promise you Natasha, I will care for you just as a kangaroo cares for its off-springs...Please please please accept me as I am struggling to capture the heart of the Goddess of Beauty that is you, Natasha♥, you and only you (no matter how many seemed as Goddess of Beauty to me in the past☻)

She awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwed, (Now, let me share an insight friends- just as cats mew, dogs bark, girls awwwwwwwwwwwwww) and she said that was cheesy lines, friend

Now folks, at this point of time, one of two things can happen which are self-explanatory and can be enumerated as either she can accept my proposal or rejects my proposal

Contrary to what you might have been thinking, even after proposing her so enthusiastically, she asked me one stupid question which at point of time seemed completely out of no-where which most emphatically substantiated the fact that girls don’t have something up there↑...

N: Do you really love me?

And when I heard this it seemed as if the sky has fallen upon my head but understanding the sensitivity of the situation and coming back to normal, in a canter,  I replied-

M: Yes Natasha, I really love you from the bottom of my heart and for you my heart is bottom-less♥♥♥

She kicked my a** and I told that she couldn't feel the Love in my expressions; she couldn’t feel the pain that I can bear for her; she couldn't feel the affection in my eyes…

And after hearing all this, my mental state was such that even the noodles that I was eating teased me and the Ketchup and Manchurian liked it!!!

My situation went from ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Tha’ to ‘Ab Kuch Bhi Nai Hota Hai’ and this was probably the end of our so-called relationship.

 

After all this shit that happened in my life I realized a fact that rather than wasting my invaluable time on so-called fairies, I should spend some quality time with a woman for whose unconditional love I don’t  have to showcase pain and feelings in my eyes. And that woman in ‘MY MOTHER’ who will obviously ameliorate my life and always give me the best of suggestion during hardships rather than kicking-my-a**.

“This BlogSpot of mine is humbly and religiously dedicated to all the women around the world wishing them Happy International Women’s♀ Day on behalf of all men♂. Let me tell you one thing, we love you, admire you, you all are the symbol of strength as we men don’t have the patience to raise kids. You all are the creator of mankind and it is definitely because of you who we are today. You all are adorable, admirable and certainly the most beautiful

Creation of The Almighty!!! Thank you so very much”